Happy Anniversary

 

4 years. 208 weeks. 1460 days.

That’s how long I have been married to my husband.

On October 20, 2012 at 6:00 p.m. I married my husband, my best friend, my life partner.

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We look kind of dorky šŸ™‚Ā 

We had spent the entire day alone (bad idea) until the moment I walked down the aisle to my smiling soon-to-be-spouse.

Despite what everyone seems to think, the wedding day wasn’t the best part of our marriage, it has been every single day after that day.

In the past four years I have had the best four years of my life because of one person, my husband.

Without that man beside me every single day for the past four years, I would not have experienced two cruises, my silly Corgi, my true passion (writing), and that every day can be a lot better because of one person.

The wedding day didn’t celebrate my marriage to him, it didn’t set the standard for what we would expect for the rest of our lives, all the days following have done that.

Without him I would not be who I am today.

 

When people ask me howanniversary-selfie I have managed to have a wonderful marriage I also respond with, “I married my best friend.”

Is it the most perfect marriage? Do I sometimes want to smack him with a skillet? Do I want to have my own space sometimes? Do we fight?

Absolutely. ButĀ nothingĀ makes me want to quit.Ā Nothing would ever be worth saying goodbye to him.Ā NothingĀ  would make it okay for me to go to bed and wake up the next day without him next to me. He has become my constant of everyday, he has become my sanctuary, he has become the reason I wake up every single morning.

No one said marriage is easy (because they would be damn crazy if they did) but, if you find the person who fits you best, it will beĀ life changing.

Find the person who will change your life for the better. Find someone who makes you smile just by looking at them. Find someone you want to fall asleep next to for the rest of your life. Once you find that person everything else will be easy (somewhat).

Happy Anniversary, my love.

Is There A Light At The End Of The Tunnel?

Yes, there is.

My husband and I moved from my hometown almost a year and a half ago so that we could live with his parents (not as bad as you would think) and finish our degrees.

We got stuck in a loop in my hometown where we had good jobs (both store managers in retail), a rent house, and vehicles. Life was easy, it was comfortable.

Moving here has not been easy nor comfortable. I spent three months in what I can only describe as shock. I had never lived so far from my family, my friends, and my comfort zone. Everything I had ever experienced could not prepare me for those first three months. Eventually I accepted my new life.

However, life did not get easy or comfortable. It is simple to say that this past year and a half has been the most trying time of both my marriage and my adult life. Let me be the first to tell you that adulting really sucks sometimes.

We have struggled with our finances, with me not having a vehicle, our sanity since we aren’t alone, with going to school and balancing jobs on top of that. Life would be so much simpler if we could just go to school and not worry about holding down a job. These kids who go to school with no financial worries have no idea how good they have it. Seriously, you better love your mom and dad immensely.

After all of the struggle we have been through I can finally see the end of it.

Friday I spoke with my adviser and he informed me that I only need ten more hours to graduate. He enrolled me in the necessary courses. Not only am I at the end of my college experience but he also has helped me fix my resume. I can see the light so much clearer now.

In seven months I will purchase my first vehicle, right at eight months I will be graduating from college, and in some point in between that time I will be interviewing and getting my first out-of-college job.

The end is here and it isn’t the end of the world. I can get my sanity back, my comfort zone, and the easy life.

The struggles will continue for the next eight months but I am much happier taking on eight months rather than another year and a half.

I am ready to go out and live my life with my husband again.

Bring. It. On.

 

Thank You

I want to pop on here quickly just to tell you guys thank you for being so loyal to my blog. I have views even as my blog has been dormant for a month, and for that I am very grateful.

I hope to get this blog up and going again soon. The writing funk I am seems to be lessening its grip on me.

School has been keeping me busy with writing and updating social media. So a lot of my creativity is getting sucked out of me via college.

However, I will be graduating in about eight months so that funk will be over then. I will be enrolling in my spring semester in about a week so I will find out how crazy it will be. Fingers crossed that I will not have a full class load and will be able to pay more attention to Nerd Thoughts.

I will try to start posting once a week in October. Maybe little blurbs I can give you guys on what my life is like right now and the real life happenings of the every day bank teller.

Thank you again for the support and the love!

The Nerd Behind The Counter… With The Fat Corgi.

A Bit of Wisdom

If you want to call this wisdom then you can; I am not going to stop you. I know, I know I called it wisdom first, you can slap my wrist for that one.

So I have a bit of wisdom for you people who are single, dating, engaged, married, or have been married for what feels like an extremely long time. I am sure you have read all of the articles that provide “advice” on your marriage and all of the hoobah-joobah on the sex life. (I really just called it THE sex life….) Moving on.

You’re probably thinking that you know all there is to know about your relationship with your dude, or chick (whatever suits your fancy), but I am here to tell you that you’re wrong.

Yup, and so am I.

I have been married now shy of four years. Whew it doesn’t even seem that long and still that is nothing at all. However, if you take how many young people I know who are married or got married when I did and how many of them are no longer with their partner, then my shy of four years seems like a bunch. So in your face statistics.

Now I am not here to brag about my super duper awesome sauce mad skillz (yes, with a z) on being married and how to stay married, no no no because you don’t care. What you want to know is HOW I have done it.

Well, ladies and gentleman I put the skillet away and pray to God to give me strength enough to not kill him…

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Just kidding, those days are few and far between… Beware Husband.

I want to tell you what has helped me through my marriage. This means you get a list (YAY!).

Without further ado here is my list that has kept my wonderful husband happy…

List (in no particular order of importance):

  1. The first year of marriage (NOT just the relationship) will be the most trying year that you will ever endure together. Regardless of the struggles, endure it.
  2. Marriage can be one of the absolute best experiences you will ever have during your life. It counts on several aspects though, great marriages don’t simply exist.
  3. It will be the most trying experience you will ever have in your entire life. Worse than kids because those you can give the boot after eighteen years…
  4. You will contemplate murdering your spouse more times than the stupid person in line at the grocery store. We both know how many times that was so think about that husbands.
  5. You will experience more in life with your spouse than you could ever possibly have imagined.
  6. They will show you life in a whole new way because you won’t be looking at it through just your lens.
  7. Despite what you have heard, marriage is 100/100 not 50/50, because you BOTH need to be giving it your all.
  8. When the children come along, because they will, make sure that you continue to put your marriage on the forefront. Don’t lose what you have because little ones came along.
  9. NO other person outside of your marriage should ever influence your marriage so much that you start looking at your spouse as though he/she were the enemy.
  10. If you ever start thinking about their flaws, and thinking, and thinking, and thinking to the point that you start being hateful toward them, take a step back. *See next in list.
  11. Remember to always hold your spouse in the highest regard. Talk about your spouse as though they are the ray of sunshine you look forward to every single day (let’s face it, they already should be).
  12. NEVER talk poorly about your spouse with any other person, this includes your mother.
  13. No one outside of your marriage fully understands what happens behind closed doors except for you and your spouse. Keep it that way.
  14. When your friends and co-workers meet your spouse they should look on them with wonder because of how well you’ve spoken about them.
  15. And last, NEVER speak of your sex life outside of your bedroom (or wherever). That is a most private ordeal between you and your spouse. And if it isn’t going so well and your mom finds out she is gonna think the rest of your marriage stinks.

I could probably go on but then you would get bored and want to hit me in the head with a skillet, and nobody wants that.

Okay, one more.

16) One of the most important skills in marriage is to always look at what can bring your spouse happiness. Even when they have done something to upset you, try and think of something that would cheer them up.

Love them with every possible cell in your body.

Love them until it hurts so much to have so much love for one person.

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Boss Vs. Leader

There are many infographics depicting the differences between a boss and a leader. There are articles too if you want to read up on the differences versus looking at pictures.

If there is one thing that humanity has that is the same (besides normal bodily… stuff) it is that we all have a boss, a manager, a supervisor, or whatever word you wanna describe the person who has a higher rank than you do. I am sure you have creative names for yours, I know I do.

We have all had that one boss or two or three or may still have the boss that sits in their office “working” all day while we are generally productive throughout the day. (What do they do in those offices all day long?).

I have no answers for you when it comes to why bosses think they can sit in their office and expect their employees to actually do anything. I mean if you’re not working and are earning a paycheck then why do I have to do anything? It is only fair.

Unfortunately, that is not the case.

In many instances the boss (or whatever you want to call them) demands work to be done and expects us to get that work done before a deadline. They want the task done in an inhumanly short time, it has to be perfect, and after all that work is done they take the credit. Geez, thanks.

You would think that somewhere there would be a light bulb moment or the “a-ha!” moment for them but then we would be living in a utopia world.

Side thought:

I was once a manager… I worked as a part-time front end manager (what does that mean? I have no idea) at a local grocery store for two years. I worked first as a cashier/facer (moving product to the front of the shelf so it is presentable).

At the grocery store my first boss was a bit of a jerk. I mean I was sixteen so of course he was a jerk. The dude after him was super nice. He made me feel like I was part of a family and important. I liked that. He is actually the one that told me he would promote me if I could show him a more mature me… I got promoted within the month.

And then came along the guy after my favorite. Um, he was nice… *cough*

After working two years for him (never calling in sick, always do what he demanded of me) I finally found something better and gave him my two weeks notice. For the whole notice he went around talking poorly about me to everyone in the store, said I was stealing his best workers (I kind of was), and berated me for leaving. He made me feel guilty for getting a better job.

He was a boss.

Continuing on:

I am not here to complain about my jerk of a boss or the ones that have preceded him. I want to analyze the differences between a boss and a leader.

I would also like to point out that there are far more bosses than there are leaders. I have worked several jobs in different positions and have had two leaders. Two. The ratio is just astounding.

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See the graphic to the right for a better understanding on the differences between a boss and a leader.

The part that says that leaders say “let’s go” makes me think of the 10th Doctor… Allons-y!!

Ahem, moving on.

I find myself placing my managers in these wee little boxes and finding out which they are. I always end up getting mad that there are even people who are bosses out there in the world. I mean if you can’t get your employees respect why would you continue to be a jerk? Two and two doesn’t equal five, people.

Conclusion:

I am sure you can only handle so much of my ranting tangents, therefore I will conclude the rampage with this:

If you are ever put into a place of authority then please remember the differences between a boss and a leader. Being a leader will help you retain employees for longer and cause you much less headaches than the boss route does.

Be^theBoss.