Posted in Marriage, Opinion, The Laughing Box, The Real Life

A Bit of Wisdom

If you want to call this wisdom then you can; I am not going to stop you. I know, I know I called it wisdom first, you can slap my wrist for that one.

So I have a bit of wisdom for you people who are single, dating, engaged, married, or have been married for what feels like an extremely long time. I am sure you have read all of the articles that provide “advice” on your marriage and all of the hoobah-joobah on the sex life. (I really just called it THE sex life….) Moving on.

You’re probably thinking that you know all there is to know about your relationship with your dude, or chick (whatever suits your fancy), but I am here to tell you that you’re wrong.

Yup, and so am I.

I have been married now shy of four years. Whew it doesn’t even seem that long and still that is nothing at all. However, if you take how many young people I know who are married or got married when I did and how many of them are no longer with their partner, then my shy of four years seems like a bunch. So in your face statistics.

Now I am not here to brag about my super duper awesome sauce mad skillz (yes, with a z) on being married and how to stay married, no no no because you don’t care. What you want to know is HOW I have done it.

Well, ladies and gentleman I put the skillet away and pray to God to give me strength enough to not kill him…

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Just kidding, those days are few and far between… Beware Husband.

I want to tell you what has helped me through my marriage. This means you get a list (YAY!).

Without further ado here is my list that has kept my wonderful husband happy…

List (in no particular order of importance):

  1. The first year of marriage (NOT just the relationship) will be the most trying year that you will ever endure together. Regardless of the struggles, endure it.
  2. Marriage can be one of the absolute best experiences you will ever have during your life. It counts on several aspects though, great marriages don’t simply exist.
  3. It will be the most trying experience you will ever have in your entire life. Worse than kids because those you can give the boot after eighteen years…
  4. You will contemplate murdering your spouse more times than the stupid person in line at the grocery store. We both know how many times that was so think about that husbands.
  5. You will experience more in life with your spouse than you could ever possibly have imagined.
  6. They will show you life in a whole new way because you won’t be looking at it through just your lens.
  7. Despite what you have heard, marriage is 100/100 not 50/50, because you BOTH need to be giving it your all.
  8. When the children come along, because they will, make sure that you continue to put your marriage on the forefront. Don’t lose what you have because little ones came along.
  9. NO other person outside of your marriage should ever influence your marriage so much that you start looking at your spouse as though he/she were the enemy.
  10. If you ever start thinking about their flaws, and thinking, and thinking, and thinking to the point that you start being hateful toward them, take a step back. *See next in list.
  11. Remember to always hold your spouse in the highest regard. Talk about your spouse as though they are the ray of sunshine you look forward to every single day (let’s face it, they already should be).
  12. NEVER talk poorly about your spouse with any other person, this includes your mother.
  13. No one outside of your marriage fully understands what happens behind closed doors except for you and your spouse. Keep it that way.
  14. When your friends and co-workers meet your spouse they should look on them with wonder because of how well you’ve spoken about them.
  15. And last, NEVER speak of your sex life outside of your bedroom (or wherever). That is a most private ordeal between you and your spouse. And if it isn’t going so well and your mom finds out she is gonna think the rest of your marriage stinks.

I could probably go on but then you would get bored and want to hit me in the head with a skillet, and nobody wants that.

Okay, one more.

16) One of the most important skills in marriage is to always look at what can bring your spouse happiness. Even when they have done something to upset you, try and think of something that would cheer them up.

Love them with every possible cell in your body.

Love them until it hurts so much to have so much love for one person.

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