Ever wake up and you just have this “down” feeling in the pit of your stomach? It correlates with feeling unmotivated and slightly more introverted.
I get this feeling more than I like to admit. Every day I try to put a smile on my face and hide the true feelings I have inside. The worst of these feelings is self-doubt.
I am CONSTANTLY doubting my ability to do pretty much anything in life. I have accomplished marrying the most perfect man imaginable. Beyond that I have managed my own clothing store (barely), annnnnnnd that is pretty much it.
Why am I writing such a poor me story today?
Let me tell you.
I am human…
Yup, and so are you (unless you are secretly an alien from Jupiter, then please be my friend).
Today I am doubting my ability to become a writer. Of pretty much anything. I hate interviewing people because awkward, and my papers bleed red when I get them back. Even my small articles I am writing for a comm class. Um hello, thanks for the encouragement.
Now I can take this feedback in one of two ways.
Either accept that this career path may be challenging and I may not become a super awesome writing genius, but try my freaking guts out.
I can find some other major to graduate with and work some job I don’t feel particularly excited to go to each day.
Been there, done that.
That kind of job is NOT want I want to do for the rest of my life. I want to write to make people laugh, to cry, to see a story the way I do, and generally entertain.
I cannot do that if I give up.
But every day will continue to be a struggle to put the brave face on and go with it. I can only do as much as I tell myself I can do. And I don’t want to give up.
I have other feelings that I shove deep down into the dark abyss of my inner tummyness, but you don’t get to read about those today.
If you are feeling particularly self-doubting then please remember that you fail at the things that you tell yourself you will fail at. Dreams are supposed to encourage and push us to complete them. What is the point of having dreams if you’re not going to try your damndest to complete them? Some dreams you’ve got there.
My dream is to write (actually sit down and write) the novel in my head, to write for an online publication so I can work from home, have several babies with my spouse, and to have a whole bunch of dogs (mostly Corgi’s).
Don’t give up on your dreams because they seem so far out of reach or possibly impossible.
With that little bit of depressing text I will bit you all a happy Thursday. Keep in mind that there is one day between you and sleeping in. Kudos to you for taking it one day at a time.
If you are looking for something a little less depressing and with a possible happy ending then go here to read my fanfiction story. My super awesome husband that I have mentioned many times also has his own blog. His are a little less depressing and much more informationy. Go here to check his out.