Posted in The Laughing Box

The Chewing Issue

Okay, we are finally at the post I have been wanting to do the last couple of days. Thank you for your patience!

Have you ever met someone whose eating or chewing habits absolutely drove you insane? Like you visualized yourself beating their face into the ground due to your strange hatred with the way they ate? Well, this post is for you.

I have come to the realization that the way people chew just irks me sometimes. I do NOT understand how anyone can chew their food or drink and make SO MUCH NOISE.

Seriously, did you wake up today and think “OOH I am gonna smack this bagel around in my mouth just because I can.” You sir/lady are going to die by the time you are 25 if that is the way you wake up, because someone like me will murder you with a big fat grin on their face.

Now we aren’t talking about the people who eat with their mouths gaping because we can all agree that it is rude and disgusting.

I have actually nicknamed a girl in one of my classes for what she eats and how she eats.

It drives me up the friggin wall.

This sums it all up for me.

 

Not that you care but I got to class a bit late the other day and she had already eaten and I WAS SO HAPPY! It kind of made my morning. THANK YOU for eating before I got here.

Anyhoo, so chewing… How do they even make those noises? I mean it is a mixture of smacking, knowing, and slobbering all at the same time. Maybe these people need awards for most annoying eating habits. I have met some who are actually married. OH NO! What if there spouse eats the SAME WAY and they procreate? The world would become corrupted by loud annoying eaters.

So this picture below really brings up a great question….

Eating meme

I mean really, how do you ask this?

“Er excuse me, I don’t mean to be rude, but could you please STOP CHEWING LIKE A FRIGGIN MANIAC???!!!!”

There is no nice way to say that to a person who is munching on a snack.

Side note, the gum chewing. Not the normal mouth-closed-chewing but the mouth-open-smacking-spit-flying-chewing…. Just stop.

Do you not realize how dumb you look?

Now this all may sound VERY rude and judgmental, of me, to you  but I am entitled to my opinion of things that irk me.

So the next time you are in a quiet room, going to the bank, the store, or go inside a convenience store remember to not chew your food like you are never going to eat again or your gum like it is trying to escape your jaws.

Have a happy noise free week! *Hats off to you*

Feel like reading a story? Then check out my other blog for some fun fanfiction! Click here. My husband, Falcon509, writes video game reviews. You can read them here!

 

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