Imagine yourself in the office or in class surrounded by co-workers or strangers and you hear the all too familiar sound of the gurgling tummy.
At first you think, “Oh gosh I hope that wasn’t me.” And then you are looking around for the culprit because everyone knows when a tummy gurgles that the whole room looks around to see whose tummy it was.
During these moments I want to ignore the awkward pause and looksee’s and just raise my hand and say, “Sorry peeps, that was mine.”
Kind of like when someone farts and everyone knows that SOMEONE in the group did it but no one is calling dibs… Man, just own it. We all fart and we all get the gurgling tummy. Such is life, am I right? *Insert meme of laughing awkward guy*
Back to the gurgling tummy. I feel it is almost necessary to have a snack of some kind, multiples here people, to give to the gurgling tummy person or to prevent my own embarrassment.
*Tummy gurgles* I jump up and say “I AM HERE FOR THE RESCUE! EAT MY SNACK AND AVOID AWKWARD LOOKSIES!”
In my daydreams I always come to the rescue with food. I mean that’s just what women do, right? Right?!
Now that we are on women’s roles, why do people always assume we have certain stuff hiding out in our purses? I don’t always carry wet wipes or kleenexs. Just because I am the next woman you know who is gonna pop a baby out does not mean that I am completely prepared to mommy you. However, let me take care of the string you have coming off your shirt. And tie your shoes, damn it!
So, the gurgling tummy. Interesting enough shortly after starting this post my next class started. I was minding my own business whilst working on my assignment when I heard it. The chick next to me had been affected by the gurgling syndrome. Lucky for her I did not perform a looksee. I let her hug her tummy in frustration that it would not stop growling at her. I felt bad, I had no snacks to give. It isn’t my fault that she came to class before lunch without any snacksies of her own. I mean what was she thinkin?!
So ladies and gents make sure that you bring along your snacksies to fight off the evil gurgling tummy… Good day and good night!